2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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