I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
