glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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