I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
