That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
