Can Purell be used as lube?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
