OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
