could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
