When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It's just like the Real World with babies
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
