my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
