I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
