Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
