That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
