i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
this just has baby written all over it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
