Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
