Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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