I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think my nap took me to another dimension
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
