ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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