we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
