hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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