then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
