Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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