There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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