I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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