whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
