I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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