I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
