who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
