Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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