i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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