Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize