The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
