Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
In other news, I just burned my penis
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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