you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
