you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
