Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Oh god it's open bar.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
