I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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