listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
