and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
When are your genitals available?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
