i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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