you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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