do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
