I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
