Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
did i just pee glitter
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
