you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
