the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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