Porn is love you can see.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
