I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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