Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
