I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize