Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
honey bunches of taint.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
