friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
