And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
