she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
