A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
