Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
