Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize