no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
