I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
