screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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