Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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